Michael Bay will continue to ruin your childhood until you have no childhood left. Up this year is that hack’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.
The first trailer is below.
Bay’s TMNT movie is obviously considerably darker than the original movie or the cartoon. It doesn’t appear to be without the sense of humor of the original TMNT stuff, though. Also, it has Megan Fox if you’re, you know, into that sort of thing…
However, in true Michael Bay fashion, the movie kind of looks like a giant lop of crap. As an acquaintance of mine pointed out earlier today, the turtles are like seven feet tall. How the hell are they trying to be ninjas?
A fine question.
And if we can get back to Bay for a moment — because I will pass up no opportunity to tear that no-talent dick apart — this takes me back to the time I saw his Transformers movie. Like TMNT, Transformers were also a big part of my childhood. I was discussing that piece of crap movie with a friend after we saw it in the theater and he gave this synopsis — “I feel like my 10-year-old self just got raped.”
Can’t really get any worse than that, can it?