Someone threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton while she was giving a speech the other day. It didn’t hit her, but it raises all kinds of questions about shoe throwers.
First, it should be noted that no one seems to know why someone threw a shoe at Hillary, but the shoe thrower was promptly removed from the event. The person appears to be a woman and she appears to be doing some sort of celebrating as she’s being ushered out.
Perhaps it was someone Bill diddled?
But back to shoe throwers.
First of all, why throw a shoe? Clearly there’s a good chance no one will know why you threw the shoe when the incident is reviewed. Doesn’t that make the gesture pointless?
Instead, why not just yell something obscene during the speech? That way, everyone knows why you are mad at said person. In this case, something like “Bill said he loved me! He will be mine! You are nothing but an old, dried-up hag!” would have been way more effective.
Second, if you’re dead set on throwing a shoe, what shoes do you wear? Do you wear your best, most expensive shoes? That says, “My hatred for [important person] trumps my love of fine footwear!” Really drives the point home.
Or do you wear a pair of old, throwaway shoes? That doesn’t really say anything except, “My shoe throwing was premeditated.”
But on the positive side, you’re not without your best pair of shoes.
Lastly, if you’re going to throw something, why a shoe? Certainly that shoe isn’t coming back to you after you throw it. Then you’re stuck walking into the jailhouse with just one shoe, which makes you look dumb. Why not bring something like a banana to throw? That won’t leave you shoeless and then the other inmates won’t laugh at you or call you Old One Shoe.
Or even better. How about a boomerang? That might even come back to you so you can throw it again.
Then again, I’ve never been able to get a boomerang to come back to me. I think you have to be Australian or something for those things to work properly.