Michigan Town gets Bikini Inspector in time for summer…

…its a rubbish job but someones got to do it…

The Broken Springs Village Council decided on Monday to pass a new law in the town that all potential sunbathers are to have their bathing suits inspected and authorised by the Chief of Police before they wear them outdoors!

The bikini will be inpected to make sure they sit within the new guidelines regarding cleavage cover and “general good taste”.

The order was passed by a 5-2 vote (presumable the Chief of Police had something to do with that)

The reason behind the order were numerous calls made to the police reporting partial nudity. The transcript from which one has been released:

Complaintent (Name withheld): My neighbor’s bikini just slipped off and her left nipple is exposed.
Dispatcher: What is the crime you’re reporting, sir?
Complaintent: It’s indecent. What if my grandkids were visiting?
Dispatcher: Where are you, sir?
Complaintent: In my backyard, leaning my head over the fence.
Dispatcher: Why are you leaning over the fence?
Complaintent: Can’t see, otherwise.
Dispatcher: What’s your complaint, sir?
Complaintent: Her other tit just flopped out. She’s naked as a jaybird now.
Dispatcher: There’s no law against sunbathing, sir. I’m sorry.
Complaintent: So am I. It’s getting dark and I won’t be able to see much longer.

After reading aloud this report, after the gasps from the blushing Village Council, Kingston proposed a resolution to avoid similar incidents this spring and summer. He offered to volunteer his time to inspect all bathing suits to make sure they meet community standards.

How nice of him to offer his time to undergo this selfless act!

via Associated Content