Elton John has seen the Internet and he doesn’t like it.
An article in the Guardian this morning written by Tim Dowling describes some humorous consequences if Sir John had his own way as usual:
Millions of people who have become addicted to “poking” each other on
Facebook would be forced to travel long distances in order to poke
friends and relatives with actual sticks, leading to increased carbon
emissions, misunderstandings and eye injuries.
Without the internet, people would no longer be able to download their
favourite tunes on to their MP3 devices. In order to fill the gap, our
high streets would inevitably become littered with unsightly “shops”
selling compact discs at inflated prices, killing off the music
industry as we know it.
Without access to Wikipedia, thousands of schoolchildren may never
learn how Joseph Stalin overcame his political enemies to found Motown
It would be scientifically impossible to go back to the old forms of
written communication; we might be able to turn off the internet, but
we cannot simply reopen all the post offices, because people are now
busy drinking lattes in them.