Joel Scores Goal, Jumps Into Pit, Never Heard From Again
Sep18

Joel Scores Goal, Jumps Into Pit, Never Heard From Again

Alright, alright. He was heard from again. However, the first two things happened. Here’s footage from a match between Coritiba and São Paulo. This guy, Joel, scored two goals. Following the second, he celebrated by jumping over some of the advertisements that are placed around the field. Much to his chagrin, the ads he choose to jump over were hiding a pit that is used to access the lower parts of the stadium. You can see a...

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Tom Brady’s College Resume was Just as Shitty as Yours
Sep18

Tom Brady’s College Resume was Just as Shitty as Yours

Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots, husband of Giselle and all-around dreamboat, posted his college resume to Facebook this morning. And it’s just as shitty looking as your college resume was. I mean, minus the quarterbacking Michigan part of it. You probably didn’t do that. Young Tom had a bunch of crappy golf course experience and spent a summer at Merrill Lynch. Now, you’re probably wondering why...

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This Tool…
Sep12

This Tool…

Everyone loves to dunk a basketball, but some of us just aren’t tall and/or athletic enough. But thank god they made adjustable hoops so we can lower the rim down and know what it feels like to throw down a thunderous tomahawk dunk. Like this tool… Throws down a monster on an 8-foot rim complete with I-just-threw-down-a-monster-dunk-in-your-face yelling. Impressive. Then he goes crashing right through the fence. (these...

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This is the Worst Chest Bump Execution Ever
Sep11

This is the Worst Chest Bump Execution Ever

Coaches should be stoic figures for this very reason right here. When they get all rah-rah and start acting like the people they’re coaching, who are usually much younger than they are, they usually end up looking like fools. So here’s a high school football coach who’s pretty stoked about his team pulling out their first victory of the season. So stoked that he decides he should do a jumping chest bump with one of...

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Bro Smashes Head on Pavement, Loves Helmets
Sep10

Bro Smashes Head on Pavement, Loves Helmets

Helmets are good. They allow really bad skateboarders to continue to be really bad skateboarders. Also good for people who don’t know how to ride snowboards and motorcycles. I mean, why would we want to let natural selection take over and thin the herd? Anyway, this guy loves helmets. Or so he says after taking a fall that surely would have splattered his brain all over the concrete. Better viewed in slow motion the second time...

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Someone Probably Got Fired Because of This
Sep09

Someone Probably Got Fired Because of This

The New York Giants did indeed suck mad dick last night in losing to the Detroit Lions 35-14. But that’s what the Giants do. Suck. This supposedly appeared on ESPN’s website and if it did, we’re sure someone got canned for it today. Is it a Photoshop? Maybe. But if it is, it’s pretty good because we’ve seen it in a couple places today where it was assumed to be real. Sometimes when you’re messing...

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